I must confess, I used to struggle with the concept of self-grace, as it seemed contradictory to the idea of 'finding reasons, not excuses.' However, my perspective has shifted. When I talk about self-grace, I no longer mean to encourage substandard behavior. Instead, I believe it's about being kinder to ourselves and not beating ourselves up over things that cannot be changed.
For example, I know I won't ever play for the WNBA due to various reasons such as height disparity, lack of hand-eye coordination, and no passion for basketball. Looking back, I realize I shouldn't have berated myself for finding Pilates challenging. I could have either committed to improving at it or accepted that it required more training than I had invested.
To me, self-grace is about self-acceptance and taking inventory of what it takes to achieve our goals. We can't solve problems or achieve our dreams by dwelling on what we are not. Instead, we should appreciate who we are and focus on what we can do. While I may never be a pro basketball player, I can contribute in other valuable ways, like working on inventions that can reduce lawsuits in rehabilitation hospitals.
In the book “Is This Seat For Me?Overcoming Imposter Syndrome in Everyday Life and Business” Stacey’s story serves as an excellent example of someone who embraces self-grace. She learned to set boundaries around her mental health, making it a priority and not allowing interruptions during her lunchtime. Though she faced setbacks, she recovered and emerged stronger.
Similarly, Ingrid story shows how she struggled for years, feeling inadequate and not good enough. However, she eventually accepted herself for who she is and realized her inherent value. Being appreciated by others also played a role in helping her recognize her self-worth.
The other contributors to this journey of self-acceptance had their own revelations. Betsey’s story showed how she discovered that she didn't need to be a veteran to make valuable contributions at the non-profit; her uniqueness was enough. As for Peter, once he became more open about not being an experienced nurse, he found relief in being himself without pretenses.
Roseline faced significant challenges that shook her self-worth, but she discovered that her story held value and could help others in need.
Brene Brown has a quote that I love “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” – Brene Brown
This is what Roz did she wrote a book!
Embracing self-grace allowed her to accept her fears and move forward, seeking the help she needed.
Incorporating self-grace into our lives might be difficult, but it is essential. It allows us to be kinder to ourselves and seek the support necessary to progress on our journey."
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