I have always felt a deep dislike for being bad at things, particularly in areas where society expects me to excel. For example, when I find myself among groups of women and babies, I experience a sense of unease. I constantly hope that no one will ask me to hold a baby, not because I dislike them, but because I feel uncomfortable doing so. Additionally, I often feel like I don't belong in gatherings of women in general, which instantly triggers feelings of insecurity. This discomfort led me to avoid such situations until recently.
Whenever I step out of my comfort zone, self-doubt inevitably creeps in. Although this is a common experience for many individuals, I didn't have a name for it until now. I used to endure or evade situations that made me feel this way, but life taught me that running away wasn't always an option, especially if I wanted to pursue my goals. Fortunately, my professional life never required me to engage extensively with groups of women or babies, so that particular fear didn't hinder me. However, there were numerous other fears ready to take its place.
In my previous career, I never questioned myself or my professional standing because I never had to venture beyond my comfort zone. Everything changed when I left my full-time job on August 6, 2019, after inventing a medical mobility device controlled by Artificial Intelligence. To establish my new business, Buswell Biomedical, I had to acquire a deep understanding of both business and computer engineering.
During my first year, I learned valuable lessons, some of which were eye-opening while others were harsh. One of the harshest lessons I learned was that engineering alone was not the most critical aspect of running a business. Despite the significance of product development, building solid foundations and structures for the business proved even more crucial. I found myself immersed in a new technology and field, where the most valuable lesson was the constant need for learning.
Several years have passed since I started my business, and I have grown significantly. I now possess knowledge in computer engineering and business, but I still don't feel entirely comfortable in either domain. Others noticed my unease as I embarked on this new phase of my life, and they attributed it to "imposter syndrome."
While those who labeled it as imposter syndrome had good intentions, their comments didn't resonate well with me. Upon introspection, I realized that I do experience imposter syndrome, but not in the areas they assumed. I thrive when discussing materials, programming, price structures, and sensors—topics related to my field of expertise. Conversely, when it comes to conversations about makeup, hair, and diapers, I feel like an imposter. Gender stereotypes may lead one to assume the opposite—that women should excel in handling babies and struggle with business. However, my personal experience contradicts this notion.
Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where individuals doubt their accomplishments and harbor an ongoing fear of being exposed as frauds, even when evidence suggests otherwise. In simpler terms, it's a feeling of not being "enough." Imposter syndrome can affect people from all walks of life, regardless of age, gender, or profession, although it is often associated with high-achieving individuals. While it's challenging to determine the exact prevalence of imposter syndrome, studies indicate that an estimated 70% of people experience it at some point in their lives. It's worth noting that imposter syndrome can manifest differently in different individuals, and its symptoms may vary in severity and frequency. Overall, it is a common experience and often a normal response to challenging situations.
Although imposter syndrome is not recognized as a psychological disorder, the term was first used in 1966. Studies, including the well-known 1978 study "The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and Therapeutic intervention," shed light on how imposter syndrome affects women and minorities to a greater extent. It is no coincidence that many contributors to this book are women and/or people of color.
I firmly believe in imposter syndrome, as I have personally experienced it throughout my journey. As a book, I have been consistently judged by my cover, which has reinforced this feeling. It often begins with people judging others based solely on their appearance. For instance, society expects me to be proficient in holding babies but not in math and engineering, when the reality is the opposite. Similarly, women and minorities are often expected to conform to certain appearances and behaviors to access certain spaces or positions. Consequently, when they achieve those positions, they understandably feel like imposters. They have never been told they belong or been allowed to be themselves. With these internalized messages, it becomes incredibly difficult not to feel like a fraud.
In compiling this book, I reached out to remarkable individuals in my life who have also experienced insecurity and doubt. I asked them to share their stories to shed light on how imposter syndrome manifests in different contexts and lives. Together, by sharing our experiences, we will explore the all-too-common feeling of not being good enough. Feeling like we don't quite fit in or doubting ourselves is natural, but we can overcome it. That's why I named this quest for self-confidence and self-assuredness, "Is This Seat Taken?" Everyone deserves to sit at a table where they belong—a place where they can learn without feeling overwhelmed, contribute meaningfully, and have their contributions valued. This book serves as one such place.
I believe that the focus of imposter syndrome on women and minorities stems from their courage to openly discuss it. (Interestingly, when I invited numerous men to contribute to this book, only one did.) However, I suspect that as humans, we all experience varying degrees of self-doubt, which is why I wrote this book—to initiate an open, honest, and courageous dialogue where people can share their diverse experiences of imposter syndrome and their unique strategies for overcoming it. Regardless of who we are or how imposter syndrome manifests for us, I firmly believe that together, we can overcome it.
I encourage you to use this book as a guide. It offers inspiring role models and practical solutions to tackle the different ways imposter syndrome can affect us. Through the real stories shared in this book, I hope you will find inspiration to overcome the obstacles in your own life and become an even better version of yourself.
As I strive to make myself feel like I belong at every table I sit at, I continue to face daily struggles, as do the other contributors. None of us are experts; we are all works in progress. However, when we sit at the right table with the right people, we can accomplish great things.
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